I am going through a pretty nasty divorce. As bad as it is, and it is helping me appreciate what it means to be free. Relationships are a wonderful thing, however, when it is enforced by government, and opting out means financial penalty. Such an arrangement is bondage where one party can use law to enslave the other.
My sob story is pretty similar to all the other broken marriage. In 2013 I broke up with my living in girlfriend, and moved out. I was bumped out, and petty depress. Within a few months I found my ex-wife. When I was with her, l ignored all the signs. None of her sisters were married. She had temper, and not to mention, she claimed to be virgin, she was not. She had a fight with my mom over the phone – all of this within a month of our relationship. Why did I ignore all the red flags? Well, depression, and love and are not the right stage to make any decision let alone martial one.
After she got pregnant, and had a baby girl. What little mask of deception she was wearing came off. “Think of the Children mantra” is the reason why I foolishly married her. I was going to divorce her within a months of our marriage, and like typical a traditionalist I decided to stay for the good of the kid.
I moved from Toronto Ontario to Gatineau, Quebec. It was her desire to learn French, and get a better job, and a long lasting career. I gave up my job with pension, and benefit and move to a new province to start all of again. She found a new job with the government, and making our 90k dollars. I found an average job with 30k, in Toronto I was making five times of my current salary. Now, that she was earning more than me. I assumed she would pay half of the house expense. Nope, she said don’t look into my purse. This was first crack in our relationship.
However, it all changed when she made threat against me. I have recorded her threatening to falsely put me in jail. You can hear some of these recording I have upload in YouTube under same username. Recently she said I am not the father of the baby. At the point I would be happy if I am not.
Now going through a nasty divorce, and the fact I married her in English speaking province of Canada, and filing for separation in French speaking province has turned messy process into a nightmare. The system is design to stop men from running away from “responsibility”. I have a child with her (just bought a DNA to test the baby), and own a house. Canadian divorce industry loves these kinds of convoluted mess, it is how they milk money, and keeps nasty men in check.
What Have I learn about Marriage as A MGTOW?
Having kids, and growing old to see our grandchildren is a wonderful dream. Like all dreams when we wake up we have to face to cold hard reality that is staring us in the eye. Spreading our seeds is encoded into our genes. Like most animals we have pre-set survival codes. However, we have evolved bit differently from other species, and as a result we came on top of other animals, and pretty much have dominion on any living thing on this planet. Our mastery is limited to our physical restriction, and resources.
Ironically, we have become victim to our own success. Our government has given preference to female. Male gender is taught that women are a delicate flower, and they ought to be treated with love and compassion. In reality they are like ferocious lions ready to pounce when it fits their needs, or transform into a purring cat when the cage is empty. Why else women wear makeup, and men flash their wealth to attract opposite sex?
Pre-industrial society had multi-generational families. Where parents of the both parties decided whom their kids ought to start a family with. Advantage of such system was that parents impart their lifelong experience that they themselves were living under the supervision of elders as a result they refined and perfected their ability to communicate, overcame many obstacles. The elders went one step further and enlighten the couples further with spiritual and philosophical complexity of such an arrangement.
Most couples in multi-generation families were human resources for the entire family. This is why there were too many “rules” set by the elder for the newly wed. Think of like Driving Licence Rules and Regulation. Newly married couple had a learner licence, and their elder were training them to become independent driver.
Ancient multi-generational families did not have the convenience of present day appliances. There were no fridges, gas stove, microwave, no television, or even a radio to entertain the newly wed. Their sexual euphoria was offset by hard labor they had to endure the next day.
I would like to emphasize on the on the two words of my last sentence “next day”. There were no modern electrical lights. Most people would sleep after sunset, no time to sit in front of sofa and browse netflick. After sunrise men went back to work the next day. He would not even know her that much. Most couples slept after hard day labor. There no vacation days, holidays, statutory days, sick leave, or stress leave. You either work, or you die, and that is why most people live in a multi-generation environment. It was reinforced by interdependability on each other.
Furthermore, modern day “get to know each other” was not in even in the cards. Her relationship and communication was done within the confinement of the parents, and kids. Since there were no centralize school, elders took care of kids while young, and females maintained the house. Most couple did go out for night stroll in the park after midnight, let alone vacation, and travel etc. They went to bed to sleep, and sex.
Even kings did not travel that much unless someone overtake his kingdom. In fact powerful people were given warning about vacating their seat of power. The popular story Odysseus king of Ithaca where king went to conquer the neighbouring states, and after ten years of long battle he come back to his place, and his wife was with a new lover. Kids perhaps not even his, and he started new family afterwords. That is why most kings stayed in the place during wars.
For better or worst rise of modern day industrialization has given us individuals ability to survive on our own. This new found liberty come with a downsize, we miss out the experience we would have if we were living in a multi-generation house.
Since modern nuclear family have never existed in ancient time. How would a father teach his young son modern day ups and downsize of relationship, and or even grandfather enlighten him further with spiritual and philosophical complexity of newly created “nuclear family”? Like dinosaurs that life style has gone, and as long an industrialize society exist, it will never be coming back. This is why traditionalist are modern day dinosaurs, and they have become our worst enemy. Even blaming feminism the the back seat in comparison.
It’s a cruel way of learning what marriage is all about, but if you truly understand this fact. This world can be less scary, and painful. Once a MGTOW man become fully enlighten he realizes that his body is his soul’s mate. Once it downs on him that he already has the missing spark of life. Therefore, his soul does not need an additional companionship. He stops seeking temperamental pleasure of life, and focuses on self-worth, and refinement of his existence.
I hope my story can help the fellow brothers avoid falling into same trap. Can MGTOW achieve its goal? Well, I don’t know the answer. However, we may never reach the stars, but like moth to a flame, there is an exhilaration in futile attempt.